LETTERS FROM THE TRENCHES (Письма из окопов)

by Toxic Delirium

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credits

released December 15, 2014

all lyrics, vocals, and music written composed and recorded by natalia cleotatra kobrapuke. toxic delirium is a solo punk/grunge project. crimson kamikaze mafia productions. dark frequencies studios. gutter empyres rise. cheers<3

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about

Toxic Delirium Chornobyl, Ukraine

oi. im natalia cleotatra kobrapuke. transgirl gutterpunk. underground creative bitch. toxic delirium is a solo punk/grunge projekt. dark frequencies studios. crimson kamikaze mafia productions. cheers to ya.

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Track Name: insomnia ( бессонница )
lyrix:
intro- gather up all my exhales, into cupped hands. the water level is rising faster, too late for me/ sew all fractured splinters of my seconds up into flat line dreams. i listen to the echoes as they ricochet inside my skull.
lnk1) the somber melodies assail me. the final words have caressed me, and now its time to go/ the deciding poisons have now grasped me. the last moments have now become me, and now its time to go/ the farewell truths have weaved their phantoms. the fatal errors have caressed me, now its time to go/ the longing heartbeats slow within me. the tripwire symphonies have now licked my face and its is time to go.
ch1) i take the scraps of paper my heart is drawn upon, and i tear them apart./ smaller and smaller and smaller still, until nothing remains/ ive forgotten more in my short and grim life than you will ever learn/ in the same decaying tune i whisper to the skies, i blow a kiss to the storms
whoaaaaa sometimes i forget to breathe/ whoaaaa as i turn and walk away, dont cry for me/ whoaaaa lick my tears and replace them with smiles/ whoaaa when the webs weaved of tomorrow arrive, one of us will not wake up to see. insomnia x 3
lnk2) star light star bright first star i see tonight. i wish i may i wish i might be granted the wish that i forge in the flames of night
the lingering winds have now swept over me, and now its time to go/ cataclysms rake thru the fabrics of my heart, and now its time to go/ this playful smile dances upon my lips, but will not spread to my eyes. its time to go/ when my breaths have ceased their coming and going, bury me in your arms. thank you for walking with me...
stranded between awake and in sleep. insomnia x2/ im not much for prayer but you got me on my knees. insomnia x2/ you had me at hello, and goodbye i cannot bear. insomniax2. / jagged edges border everything i see. insomnia x2
insomnia3
Track Name: nymphomaniac ( нимфоманка )
lyrix:
-----------------------
v1) i sit alone and watch the waves break, one by one/ my eyes raise to the skies, adorned with blackened sun/ the bitter texture of the poison lingers on my tongue/ its peeling away, but i aint complaining

br) i feel that you should be forewarned/ im not your average fuckin girl next door/ heart is haunted, spirit is worn/ stare into that which stares back from the mirror at me. this means war

ch) im a transgirl whore. i prefer my clothes in a pile upon the floor. fuck hard and when done git the fuck back here. take your clothes back off, gotta git some more.

v2) no baby, i am not what youd expect. i sit here watchin the waves break while i wait for this acid to take effect/ and when it does, you better hit the deck. gimme a tick ill strip down and ill join you there in a second

ch2) im a nympho fuckin transgirl whore./ i prefer my clothes in a pile on the floor/ where in the fuck do you think youre goin? take your clothes back off. gotta git some more.

outro) see these eyes? the cry tears of cyanide/ see this smile? half mast on ley lines/ see this body? this cold heart'll keep you warm on a frostbit night/ nympho...fucking whore. nympho....fuckin slut. why dont you come see me sometime
Track Name: snakebite ( укус ядовитой змеи )
lyrix:
----------------------------------
intro) suka blyat/ shpritsev zuby vvodyat yad v/ suka blyat. / oblachena v temnote/ paslen kozhi/ .suka blyat/ ukusa zmei/ ya chertovski suka/ ya chertovski suka / ukusa zmei x2
Moi zuby krovotecheniye/ yad osedayet v/ golosa zvuchat gromche seychas/ britva plot' potseluy/ smert' yest' blazhenstvo zhizni/ skryvayetsya v kozhe teney
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
v1) my teeth bleeding. / the poison settles in/ voices are louder now/ razor flesh kiss/ death is the bliss of life/ hiding in the shadow's skin
razor flesh kiss/ death is the bliss of life/ hiding in the shadow's skin/ legs spread wide. knees to the skies/ all things that live must die one day

ch1) fucking bitch/ syringes teeth inject venom in/ fucking bitch/ cloaked in darkness. nightshade skin/ fucking bitch/ snakebite./ im a fucking bitch. i am a fucking bitch/ snakebite!!!!

link) alone im brought into this world and alone ill die x2/ ya byl broshen v etom mire v odinochku ./ ya pokinu etot mir pozadi menya vse v odinochku

v2) i am tasting the sand in the hourglass, as it disappears. / i feel the claws of each gasping moment as they slash my face. / torrential downpour of long lost human souls. / legions of moths eat brains, riddled with holes. / hiding in the shadows of the skin/ snake bite. nightshade. captured the wind.

ch2) fucking bitch/ if you want me you can find me in the garden/ fucking bitch/ cloaked in darkness, nightshade skin/ fucking bitch/ snakebite./ im a fucking bitch. i am a fucking bitch/ snakebite!!!! x2
Track Name: oh susanna ( о Сюзанна )
lyrix:
-------------
intro: oh susanna, i was only 18 when you took one look into my eyes and swept me off my feet/ my sister dear, baby come lay down with me. our forbidden love, my darling, is but whispers on the breeze.

v1) oh susanna, only 3 years older than me. cuff me to the bunk bed, strap it on and set me free/ oh susanna, it dont mean shit to me, that the true love of my life is in my family tree

br1) fuck the world. i dont care what they say/ each flick of your tongue and all the bullshit melts away

ch) oh susanna, my sister, i love thee/ grab me by the pigtails from behind and fuck me deep/ oh susanna, our little secret we do keep/ another night lost inside you with my head between your knees.

v2) oh susanna, ya dirty little tease. we got thru life with third degree rug burns upon our knees/ oh susanna, life is but a dream. all is fair in nlove and war, so strip my panties off with your teeth
oh susanna....oh susanna

br2) the house is empty, time to disrobe down to our lingerie/ sister darlin misses: wont you please come out and play.

outro) oh susanna, i was only 18 when you took one look into my eyes and swept me off my feet...
Track Name: early warning/shadow of death (тень смерти)
lyrix:
intro- say your peace now. life is a shipwreck goin down/worry never baby. please go on, discard your sorrows/ground pulled out from beneath my feet. ship disappears into the deep. treading water, tryin not to drown/ say what you must because I may not be here tomorrow.

v1) many nights I sit alone and drink/ red baron washin down pink panthers and yellow submarines as I think/revelations strike in delirium as I retch into the kitchen sink/merrily life aint shit but a sick sad dream. while inhaling water, none can hear my screams.

br) synthetic venoms shrieking thru my veins til nothing is left/hotwired brain. all goes black while seein red. ask me if I give a shit. once upon a time I did.

ch) I will not tell you how and I wont tell you when/ all Ill tell you is one day soon you will not hear from me again/ alone I shuffle on to my end, by my side stands not one friend but the voices in my head and the grim shadow of death

lnk) falling apart at the seams. holding my breath, forgot to breathe. /throne of broken glass, been dead inside since 17. ive come so far yet gone nowhere so so fast. all I do anymore is daydream bout the last breath ill ever have.

v2) many nights I sit alone and seethe/ slit my skin deeply and watch as it bleeds/ cork the bottle, bury it deep inside my breaking heart/ when no one listens why bother to speak? all my conversations are between my guitar and me.

br----------

ch-----------
Track Name: savage luxury (дикарь роскошь)
lyrix:
v1: I think about all the places that I don't want to go/ I think of all the things that I don't wanna see/ I think of all the people that I never want to meet./ so I close my eyes and I go to sleep
v2: I think of all the battles that I don't wish to wage/ I think of all the wars that I never wished to win/ I think of all the skirmishes that I don't care to face/ I close my heart shut tight. in tongues of silence I speak. listen not to what they say. it aint shit but a five dollar dream....
ch: some stones are best left undisturbed/ would you know it if you seen it?/ would you keep it if you knew it?/ theres always something there to remind me
v3: it is an old photograph. their eyes do not betray their lips/ I fish in the polluted waters of the soul with a net infested with holes/ look down at ones feet, where they stand. all tomorrows will one day become yesterdays/ one way or another, we watch the days go on by. watchin days walkin on by...
chorus============
v4: in the space between thoughts, glimpse. pick up a pen and draw a blank/ where do the days go when they die?/ have you ever sat back and watched your life pass before your eyes?/ have you ever pondered when it will be your time?
br: time is but a window, death is but a door. each hello. cloaks a potent goodbye in disguise. keep your eyes to the skies. X2
chorus========
outro: I think of all the things that I never wished to say/ I think of all the breaths that I never wished to take/ I think of all the hearts I never wished to break/ so I turn my back and I walk the fuck away
Track Name: clawfoot (коготь ногу)
lyrix:
---------------------------
v1) (say hello)about face on clawfoot. it stares back from my palm. jawbreaker, swallow it all down. countdown. metronome. scream static silence into the megaphone. clip the cord on the telephone. pick up all of my things. i think i found my way home
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br1) i make love to the quicksand, as it chokes me down whole. i blow a kiss to the sands of time. i aint here to live. im just biding my time. (just waitin to die) i aint here to live. im merely here waitin on my ride to go
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v2) sick and tired of the tick tock of the clock. sits on the shelf to mock me/ every twitch of the mechanics in its twisted body urges it on, its teeth consume me/ dyin flowers, black, unfolding. molding, born without a pulsebeat. my story, if ever/ i fuckin seen it, slit it down along the vein and liberate me. cut along the dotted line.
===
ch) as above, so below. blow the entire world to feel whole/ yet the vacancy within my stone heart exploding. it was all for nothing
crumpled letters in my pocket at the hour of death
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v3) long hard road to the shoreline. waves upon the sands every now and again a creature washes up, gasping on the land. so i pick it up gently, and stare into its eyes. a vivid moment across two distant realms...before i release it back to the tides from my hands
--
br2) ride on, for one more day. when yer gone, a minefield road lies unpaved
---
v4) table set on clawfoot. propped up by spit. a pile of books ill never read have become my chair. im reading you. dont like what i see. a counterfeit life form. no life as far as the eye can perceive.
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br1
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v2
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ch
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Track Name: love is but a dream (любовь как сон)
lyrix:
я нашел тебя , прогуливаясь один день. мель на пляже.
весело , весело . любовь - это лишь сон .
v1) i found you while out walking one day, stranded on a beach./ eyes scanning the horizon for something i could use to drain this life from me/ then without warning, i discovered you in the sand. a treasure buried for only the truly lucky to see/ merrily merrily my darlin amy love is but a dream. you put your lips on mine an breathed. a sigh of life pierced into and thru me.
lnk 1) my love from another time, my darlin from another place. i promise to wipe all the tears from your face. where have you been all this time? i swear each moment before this one was a waste./
capture every rain drop from the sky and save it for you in my cupped hands. use them to quench the thirst we both have, and to water the flower that we share so it blooms as beautiful as you. in shade of night it stands.
v2) and so thus it shall be, i wanna watch you as you sleep. and together we shall weave a tapestry of the sweetest calibur of dreams. / you woke me up, my love and nothing was what it seemed. please walk this path with me, on earth in sky, in love and all things in between.
ring around the rosy, pocketful of unspun memories. ashes ashes we all fall down, but when you fall ill pull you right back to your pretty lil feet. merrily merrily my darlin love is but a dream. love is but a dream. every word you speak and my heart beats more rapidly.
outro) нет ничего более красивого , чем двух девочек в любви
Track Name: from dirt to dirt ( из почвы в почву )
lyrix:
----------------
intro: say goodbye my love. say goodbye, im not comin back again. say goodbye my love. its my time to go...
/1v1: this one goes out to the gutters fallen and lost/ beer or sauce, or max strength cough. raise up high whatever ya got/ life is short with a high price tag and some cant cover the cost
v1: concrete soaked in piss and blood and brew and puke and tears/ all gutters are haunted by ghosts. who in the fuck knows who will still be alive this time next year?/ if you listen closely in the night alone sometimes, their laughter you can still hear
madw1) waking up each day an i got nothing. yet thats something. only then can you have everything/ all that i need in life it sits there waiting, down the road, there waiting patiently for me to come/ when i finally die, youll find my spirit, lurking near the cough syrup aisles my friend./ dissolving taste, a thousand empty faces, so many tales erased by the sands of time
implr: its gittin cold out tonight/ so baby please hold me tight/ a little more to the right/ i bid you sweetest goodnight
concrete, glass, metal, stone/ broken hearts and broken bones
mdworldchor: i find it kinda funny, i find it kinda sad. the dreams in which im dying are the best ill ever have. / i find it hard to tell you, its a pill thats hard to take. dont blink cuz tomorrow one of us may not awaken. (breathe deep. breathe deep)
(br)
1v2: this one is for the gutters fallen and for the damned/ brews or sauce, or max strength cough. raise up high whatever it is you have/ ill see ya on the other side when i git there. this is to the best friends a gutterpunk could ever ask for
solo jam:
v2)the answers you give are to questions never asked/ tears fillin up their cups, eyes gone blank and shine like glass/ now is all we have .no tomorrow and no past
madw) ive seen things that you can only dream of. things forgotten, beauty in varying states of rot/ i aint got nowhere that i can call home. but im not homeless. i am home free/clip the chains that hold me still and stagnant, become the magick, hold it tight and never let go
implr: all are alive but so few really live/ please darlin give me one more kiss/ swallow every drop over red lipstick/ biding our time on this sinking ship
concrete glass metal stone/ broken hearts and broken bones
mdworldchor: i find it kinda funny i find it kinda sad. the day in which im dyin is the best ill ever have/ i find it hard to tell you, its a pill thats hard to take. ill leave this all behind one of these days ( merrily merrily life is but a twisted dream. merrily merrily i walk the roads of worlds between)
sidewalk, streets and alleyways are where we spend most of our days/ paths are paved by the words we say and things we do. each step digs our graves)
Track Name: war water: last gasp revision (война вода: последний вздох пересмотр)
lyrics: lock my heart. nail shut the door. peace for the sake of violence. eternal silence. cant take it anymore. lost my damn mind and i dont care to find it. drink from the waters of war. dead to the world. i think i kinda like it. piss in the wishing well. may as well try it. my knees buckle and collapse as soon as i try to stand. i got a poltergeist eatin out my hand. even when i tell the truth im lyin. my head says im livin but my heart says im dyin. open up to shut it down. they tell me i could be anything, a half mast smile is my only reply. so ill do just that and ill never be revived. pass me a razorblade, a guitar, a needle and a vial of k. hardly used model, barely any mileage. one day ill walk away and i wont look back. checkin out. fight for the right to be lifeless. yeah one day the skies will fall. watch, one day while standin tall. every tree in bloom, even one day their leaves will fall. all i wanted but you cant even see. hidin in plain sight but you can hear me. listen clearly. invisible man. fuckin exile. dust it off. set fire to the textile. cold blooded reptile. every song i sing is an evp recording. syringe like a gun. load it up. stick it in the leg. bonnie and clyde, down to ride. well well maybe this may be the day that i may die. so i take my knife and i drain my life. i know i know, why my face is breakin up, no semblance of my own. no resemblance that i know. theres three sides to every tale. silver tarnished dipped in the colors of light. in the day and night. and each day will last for eternity. yeah and the nights are another day. moons lit dry under venoms divine. at the dead end road is where you can find me. these dark clouds lack a silver lining...
Track Name: cut along the dotted line (разрезать вдоль пунктирной линии)
lyrix:
------------
intro) i swore id never do this again/ but there i am at the end of the night, my friend/ with a razorblade in my hand/ cut along the dotted line

=======
v1) there i stand again beneath the streetlight, my heart on the floor/ shaky hands apply lipstick in the reflection on the door/ there i stand again, in the cold early morning, half past four/ for a price, ill show you mine, you show me yours...

v2) man i swore to myself id never do this again/ yet i find myself once more a rental whorefriend/ there i am stripped down and legs behind my head/ close my eyes and wait for it to end...

ch) no i am not fine, no i am not alright/ losing whats left of my heart and what remains of my mind/ tongue tied on the concrete watching the whole world walk on by/ grab an exacto knife and cut along the dotted line...

v3) come to my senses against the doorframe in the hall/ black mascara trails from tears cried in a bathroom stall/ clean up in the sink, cuz when night falls, it all begins again anew. oh well...

v4) make a wish and cast the stone down the well/ thanks for askin. i fake a smile and tell ya im doin well/ i swore never again, but then again there i am/ on my hands and knees on the concrete in the stairwell/ again, again...my friend...

outro) all alone again, with an exacto knife/ across the street for a good time and down the road to say goodbye/ i told you once and i will not tell you twice/ i bid you farewell and good night/ cut along the dotted line......
Track Name: where the ocean meets the sky (где океан встречается с небом)
none. this shit heres an instrumental. guitar only.
Track Name: angel of death: void's song (ангел смерти: Песня войд)
lyrix: v1-you put marilyn monroe and betty page to shame. even brody dalle seems lame compared to you baby. romeo and juliet's sex aint shit compared to our love. dig your nails in my back make me sweat. and i know that i love you to death. bonnie and clyde to the last breath. youre addictive as a lit cigarette. tattoo a surgeon generals warning on yer forehead.
na na na ooh la la
v2-youre the punk rock rose to my jack. im the sid to your nancy. i fancy you more than a magnets pull attract. like a yin to the yang. like a bang to the guns blast. plaid mini skirt. knee high leather boots. fishnets. mohawk short and black. a godess with a pink dog collar. hand cuffs and whip crack. we all need a little time to play so lay back. lay back.
chorus 1- oh baby cant you see that i need you badly. and i want you madly. and i wish i had you in my arms tonight. you just mighta been my suicide girl for life.
had a bad dream last night. death on the road goin 75...oh well. baby you still down to ride? she said baby forever.
v3-one fateful night, were goin 75 on a moonlit path. two milk cartons of acid to sell in the back. were all we need in this life. just this car, and this dream. and thats all you really need, ya wanna be exact. then came the screech of the tires and the sound of broken glass. before i knew what happened babe your bleedin bad and your fadin fast. took one look into your lovely eyes and heard you whisper your last words to me. you said: meet me at the crossroads." i said "baby ill be the shorly."
chorus 2-oh baby. cant you see that i love you madly. and i want you badly. and i wish that i had you in my arms alive. not a pile of dead flesh and bone on the roadside. you just mighta been my suicide girl for life. i cant live without you baby. so please come back. please come back. please come back....
ill never be the same again. never be the same again....
baby...oh baby...
Track Name: poison pastime poison pastime (яд времяпрепровождение)
lyrix:
v1-you gave me wings with which to fly today. then you took the sky
away. what goes up must come down. a handful of denial helps the pills go
down.
v2- happiness is a loaded gun. holocaust under blackened sun. sitting
triumphant on a cheap throne on high, ruling over a kingdom of flies.
br1- wick too short. air too thick. tears of boiled shit. bloodstream of stale piss.
what kinda sic joke is this? long night. cold sweat. kneel by my bedside and pray for death. my
grim friend, this ragged breath
.chor- one day the sun wont rise. one day these lids will cloak still eyes. wash down rat poison with sips of cyanide to
pass time
ch- one day itll be be too late to try. empty chamber of the
starting gun. flatline pulse of a rising flood. what is lost one cannot find
sometimes. no matter how hard one tries. say goodbye
- blow out the brain, leave the skull intact. run run
catch me if you can, if you can. ship going to its watery grave. ive got nothing
left to say, nothin left to say.
v3- cross my heart
and pray to die. every heart down the line will one day unwind. tarfume angels
fallen from grace. vanity kills the very fools it creates.
br2- cry first,
laugh last. jump through flaming hoops doused in gas. future gone. blank
past.
ch- one day the sun wont rise. one day these lids will cloak still
eyes. wash down rat poison with sips of cyanide, to pass the time. one day itll be too late to try.
empty chamber of the starting gun. flatline pulse
of a rising flood. what is lost one cannot find sometimes. no matter how hard
one tries to find. so fuck it say goodbye.
outro- ring around the rosy,
pocketful of trash. heartful of crude oil, lungful of poisonous gas. on this
cold tile i lay, starin at the rain. drink potions to keep the pink elephant at
bay. mirror mirror on the wall whose the most diseased of all

grunge
Track Name: Mysteries Of The Sphinx (Загадка Сфинкса)
cant bear to stare upon yer face/ both yer arms point to the lies you create/a clock you can crush but time one cannot eradicate
---
sky cold and grey. pay in currencies of pain/ but that's ok. anaesthetized anyway and anyday joy or sorrow all the same
---
what would you be? if you could be anything? if you could be what you want to see in the world, well would you?
--
I cannot stay but I refuse to leave. taste the sand that freefalls in the hourglass. take my heart in your hands. as we wait for death we laugh and laugh as life passes by. merrily merrily life aint shit but an alibi
---
don't matter what you say. aint nothing here that you can change. fuck off and go away and ill be walkin my own way. have a nice day. ah. I love the smell of napalm in the morning
---
don't wanna die but I don't wanna live. when all is ash on the ground why pretend this shit is permanent? feel my guts rot away inside my abdomen. as I look beyond the veil and see the game is rigged.
----
force fed stale crumbs and palsy creeds, scream so silently. a violent peace burns inside of me. pledge allegiance to amnesia for the sake of sanity.
---\
eyes of crosshairs. bloodline of venom swarm. caustic pulse pumps poison. each word a curse. a cannonball. don't blame the battlesnake when you step too close and feel its bite. the nature of the beast heed the rattle or kiss the world goodbye.
Track Name: synapse radio (синапс радио)
not a fuckin word. nothin but instrumental shit. geetar only.
Track Name: Rape me: nirvana cover (изнасиловать меня : нирвана переделка)
google em dammit.